ACTION HERO
I've chided President Bush for being less than reliably conservative, but on the other hand can you imagine any other politician for whom this would inspire anything other than laughter? A Bill Clinton action figure? I guess that depends on the meaning of "action." That's one toy that's not suitable for minors. Even John-who-by-the-way-served-in-Vietnam Kerry couldn't pull off an action figure without it looking, well, French. Who'd want that? Al Gore's would probably be slightly more lifelike than he is, but would take five minutes to say a single sentence. "No.....controlling......legal......authority......" No thanks. John Edwards--instead of carrying a cool gun or sporting a pilot's helmet, he'd have a power tie and a big thick briefing folder. Howard Dean's would say something weird, then say he never said it, then say that he regretted saying it. Bob Graham's action figure would claim that the other action figures are all hiding something (but decline to say what that something is), and then miscount how many other action figures there are. Al Sharpton's would incite riots and falsely accuse all the other action figures of various crimes, then accuse all the others of being racist. Carol Mosely-Braun's would just be boooooring, and a bit off. Joe Lieberman's would denounce all the other action figures for being too violent. Yup, only GWB could have an action figure that actually looks cool.
Well, maybe there is one other pol who could pull it off...