Vegansexuals Can Carnal Capers with Carnivores (UPDATES by Seedub and Geoff)

Meet the vegansexual:

Vegansexuals are people who do not eat any meat or animal products, and who choose not to be sexually intimate with non-vegan partners whose bodies, they say, are made up of dead animals.

But . . . would a body made up of Twinkies and Ho Hos really be that much more attractive? Once you start looking at people as the afterproduct of their diet, I don't think the libido is going to benefit. I don't see how even fellow vegansexuals could inspire much mutual passion, once they start looking at each others' bodies as just so much dead vegetation.

And we probably shouldn't mention that even vegansexual bodies are live meat, regardless of their eating regimen.

As an aside, I think it's time for conservatives to be a bit more creative and assertive in these sorts of terms. Libs are throwing "metrosexual" and "vegansexual" at us, and we just shake our heads. It's time to be more proactive and to develop our own terms.

I leave that as an exercise for the interested reader.

UPDATE from See-Dub: Unlike the vegans, I used to find it somewhat thrilling that a particular intimate acquaintance may at one time have been an animal. "Just think," I would often muse in an...intimate moment, "not so very long ago, this girl's flesh may have been, say, a Cornish game hen!"

At which point I would shout out, "I LOVE GAME HEN!!!! I NEED TASTY GAME HEN!!! I CAN"T GET ENOUGH HOT SEXY GAME HEN!!!"

Which, if you read that aloud, you'll realize has led to countless misunderstandings.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

UPDATE from geoff: If you find the vegansexual lifestyle at all appealing, you're going to want to hustle over to Innocent Bystanders, where Sobek has prepared invaluable advice on the proper preparation of peas: How to Chop, Dice, Julienne or Slice Fresh Peas (Part I: Chopping).