Because their poop smells like roses

KEEP YOUR GREEN POLITICS
OFF MY AIR-WICKS!

So environmental groups are declaring war on air fresheners? It's not enough that San Francisco hippies assault our noses with their patchouli-dandruff-clove-cigarette pong as part of their general assault on civilization and bourgeois mores (and hygiene), but now...now they would deny us the weapons to exorcise their redolent aroma!

It wouldn't be enough to suggest, oh, a warning label be applied or some such reasonable, minimally intrusive measure be taken. Already Walgreens, the France of drug stores, has yanked three stench-stifling preparations from their shelves in the face of the green assault on pleasantly-scented domestic life. They know that somewhere a coven of trial lawyers is drawing the whetstone across its fangs, giddy at the prospect of sinking them into the $1.72 billion/ year air-freshener industry.

Thus the modicum of solace offered by a little spritz of cedarish cinnamon, a little holiday pumpkin spice, a little country linen (whatever the hell that's supposed to smell like) is denied you, for your own good. The right to control how your own bathroom smells is just too risky for private citizens to control: you're pretty much stuck with kitty litter and the olfactory reverberations of your own excreta--even if you have a date coming over and you would much prefer your powder room had a faint whiff of citrusy vanilla to it. It's bad for the children, you see, so even if you don't have any children, you must surrender your Renuzit to the Stink Police:

The environmental groups argue that in houses, offices and restrooms, Americans suffer significant exposure "to a veritable cocktail of dangerous and potentially dangerous volatile organic compounds. In cases of mold and damp indoor environments, air fresheners may hide an indicator of potentially serious health threats to the respiratory system."

That's kind of the point, Sherlock. It masks an unpleasant smell. When a litter of baby skunks dies under your house, this is a merciful thing.

Back in May I wrote about the outlawing of incandescent light bulbs--and some other intrusive green initiatives as well. The War on Glade fits the pattern to a T:

People complain about social conservatives needing to stay out of their bedrooms. But globwarming greens are fooling around in every damned room in my house.

...

People with libertarian instincts need to hear this–even if social conservatives might want to stop drugs, gay marriage, and abortion, the pseudo-religious zeal of the globwarmers knows no bounds and their coercive agenda is targeted at things that everybody does and uses: cars, light bulbs, garbage pickup. And, as I said above, toilets.

Meanwhile, the people who do this live in energy-guzzling mansions, travelling on private jets, perhaps salving their conscience with expensive carbon offsets, while they figure out what kind of light bulb you will be able to buy.

Now that is an inconvenient truth.

The Green future will resemble the people who envision it: coercive, dim, and full of...lingering odors.(language warning):

Meanwhile, as for another product that actually does cause schizophrenia and birth defects and is currently, rightly against the law: Hell, legalize that, bro!

PS: