How to win the war on drugs

What if a cheap, universally available intoxicant suddenly became available? No longer would the youth of today plus the bitter old hippies of yesterday need to rely on the Taliban or the Gulf Cartel to deliver their daily psychoactive, dependency-inducing jolt. No need to pay for pot, for meth, for LSD because a mindblowing high is available right at home--made from material so common anyone with a functioning colon could produce it.

Ladies and gentlemen, straight from the CIA's newest rollout of ghetto drugs, may I present: Jenkem.

Jenkem. That's good s**t!

Snopes thinks it might possibly be a bunch of s--t as well...but here's a SERIOUS VIDEO REPORT from a Florida TV station so it must be true.

I mean, if I had to choose between a lungful of doody-gas or sticking a needle under my toenail into my vein, I would take the poop. Fortunately, a tasty concotion of fermented rye is commonly used by the natives of See-Dubya land.

MORE: Following the video at that last link to about four minutes in, I learned that Abraham Lincoln shares my favorite American whiskey!