See-dub goes negative

Look, I don't see what the big deal is. Everybody knew about this, and it's old news. Well, I guess not everybody--I didn't, but I'm just a hick blogger out in the sticks unschooled in the wily ways of sophisticated, worldly Gothamites. But look, for my fellow rubes out there in flyover country: when you're a big important person and you need police protection 24-7, someone's gotta pay for that protection. And as anyone who has ever carried on extramarital affairs (or as CBS describes it here, an "extramarital marital relationship") knows, you can't just scribble "IOU: $34,000 for dirty weekend with red-hot hoochie-momma" on a takeout menu and throw it in the mayoral petty cash drawer.

Furthermore, this is the Mayor of New York we're talking about here--you're famous, and just staggering with the prettiest lady left standing at closing time down toward the local No-tell Motel isn't an option when you move in these circles. You have to be discreet about these secret things everybody knows about, and go out of town when it's business time. So obviously all of this is just sleazy and irresponsible.

The attacks, I mean.

Let me explain it to you this way: when bad people are trying to kill you and you are required by law and common sense to have the cops keep an eye on you so the Mafia doesn't give you an unlicensed tracheotomy, you've got two options. One, you can rein in your libido and adapt your lifestyle to the demands of public life; or two, you can let your freak flag fly and stick the public with the bill. (Which was "repaid", from someone to someone else, you see, although the money seems to have originated in the Mayor's office.) And, I mean, who out there among us hasn't gone on an adulterous fling and stuck our boss with the tab, using a system of accounting so creative that we must defer to unspecified subordinates to explain it?

Well, let that man cast the first stone. That sleazy man.